I don't know if it holds true for other professions, but in the Artist world, many professionals suffer for their work. In a word, artists suffer angst. And I'm not talking about the 'will I ever fit in' kind of angst that teenagers travel through. No, artist angst is more the transcendent emotional combination of dispair mixed with an unrelievable hope of being understood.
Whether or not the artist works in paints, or chisels stone or sculpts in clay or sings opera or takes on the mantle of a playwright's character or dances the emotions of music...doesn't matter the media. What matters is that an artist strives to communicate unseen visions through his or her work. And necessarily, this communication is filtered either consciously - or not - through the artist's own life experiences, religious holdings, political views...whatever recipe it is that makes the artist who he or she is. Sometimes the glasses that an artist looks through are a consciously decided perscription, sometimes not.
I've met artists who try to create by letting go of who they are and what they know. And I've met artists who try to understand themselves through their own work. Me? I'm at a place in my life where I've come to realize that I work in bright, bold color because it reflects the passion I see in the natural world; I use, adhere to and admire structure in my work [even though it may be 'abstract'] because I sense the structure of the spiritual world and both worlds are inseparable for me. Whether it's my photography, painting or mosaic the "rules" I've set for color and structure are in play. In other words, my rose-colored glasses are rose because that's how I choose them to be.
I've recently become acquainted with an artist who lives in the United Kingdom and who has accepted my invitation to be interviewed here at Mosaic Mandalas. [*if you see some formatting difficulties such as font issues, arg! sometimes computers drive me a bit around the bend!]Through reading her blog and resume, our back-and-forth for the interview and viewing her work, it's my sense that this artist is one whose work is a direct reflection of both the vision she is seeking to express and the journey she is on to discover herself through her work. See if you agree...
Meet artist Rukshana Afia:
Q: I love the subtitle of your blog: ‘My art practice & the resulting pieces.’ So, your blog is like an ongoing “work in progress” report? How did you come to the decision to craft your blog/website in this way?
Rukshana: I first heard about blogs on a course for part time university teachers as I then was - where it was described as the ideal way to publish research informally as it was done with the added bonus of independent dating [of materials] . Thus dealing with proof of originality etc. which academics are so paranoid about. Then
when I came to do a website and asked a friend about free ways of doing this he suggested a Wordpress blog. I really liked the idea as a way of showing the development of ideas and why I changed media. Eventually I’ve come to rely on it more than my sketchbooks as both a record and jumping off point. I do really see the point of ‘reflective writing’ as it was called when I was made to do it at Art college as a (very!) mature student.
Q: First I want to take note of my observations of your resume…you studied French, Spanish and Arabic languages; you’ve also studied textiles, jewelry, calligraphy and other types of studies. My question: how do you think your various studies have influenced your art?
Rukshana: Well as a crafter friend said, everything is grist to the mill even if not obvious.
- a) The languages are connected to the calligraphy, obviously, and studying all 3 together when I was doing my MA also made me think about systems of representation which sounds a bit pretentious, but! Eg a fellow student showing some of his paintings, said self-deprecatingly, that they suffered from (or showed reliance on?) an iconography in a visual language which was highly personal to him - with the implication that this made them invalid. The tutor took issue with this, entirely reasonably, saying that many made art in a highly personal visual language. Of course because we are all human we have more in common than not - think how many verbal languages have been learnt ‘from scratch’! And maybe learning to appreciate an artist is at least partly learning their visual language.
- b) The textiles I’d wanted to ‘do properly’ for some time. I’d been taught hand embroidery by my mother and had some grandiose needlepoint designs; I also had the vague idea I would learn weaving. Actually I got really into felting. Why? Because it offered a fast, easy way to produce a lot of textile at once (especially once I started putting my sewn up long rolls into the boil wash of the washing machine) which could be further cut, sewn, embroidered. I saw the parallels between ceramics and felting - it was all putting down layers.
- c) The jewellery I had always wanted to try - I love wearing it! - and I liked the close detailed work and the direct use of fire. However I thought the tools were very expensive! Then I realised that that would never be a reason not to do ceramics - ergo I didn’t want to do jewellery that much.
A more general point about my taking the opportunity to do all these courses when I was also getting my diploma & MA was that these were all things I had wanted to return to or try out since giving them or the chance up at 17/18/19 years. So it was all part of my finding out who I wanted to be.
*I so totally relate to Rukshana here as when I attended college [all six and half years] I took every course I had the time and money to take as I knew I might not get another chance. Even a course in interior design!
Q: I’ve enjoyed reading through the past couple months of entries on your blog…seems you’ve been going on an artistic journey married to your journey with your religious faith – would you say this is accurate? For you, what does one have to do with another?
Rukshana: Yes, more or less - but not just the last few months! I stated in 2000 or so that I was a Muslim artist and not just an artist-who-happens-to-be-Muslim. I’m still working that out. A lot of the issues are shared by other artists ‘of faith’.
Q: In your August 7 post (“Not quite mixed”) you state that “…I really am not a painter!” Then in the next post, August 14 (“Home Stretch”) you say, “…I really must break out into actual paint soon….” So, my question to you is: what is holding you back from using paint? What kind of paint – oils? Acrylics? Watercolors? Gauche?
Rukshana: I’ve thought for years that I could draw but not paint. There are 2 main reasons for this; 1. I was quite expressly taught drawing from a young age but
painting always seemed to be a matter of colouring inside the lines. I was never taught any painting technique even at college; only told that it was “ just marks on paper “ and that I must get over my block ! 2. I like lines, a lot.
What began to make me wonder was a side effect of the felting. I was at an exhibition and found myself looking at a painting as if it were felt.
I realised properly what I already knew - that the painted surface is structured.
The many painting blogs I’ve looked at have made the layering in work more explicit. In feltwork I had used solid colour in lumps, layers & skeins of patterns. I learnt about mixing stable colours in the hand or by using very thin layers. Ceramic colours are no less beautiful of course but- you can never know exactly what you will get.
I’d like to try & work in oils or proper watercolours. I prefer oils to acrylics to look at & I don’t like gouache/poster colour. I used it at school & disliked the way its opacity led to muddy colours. Expanses of flat, dense colour look better as papercuts which I did for some years.
Q: When did you first start using a felt tip/watercolor crayon combination for your work? How do these media help you to convey your vision?
Rukshana: I love watercolour crayons. I first came across them in the Art college shop where I was told I could use them like pencils and then wash them so that they looked like watercolour. So I saw that as drawing while faking painting! They were ideal for my tree drawings.
The small felt tip set needed to be used and I wanted to intensify some colours. I had branched out from drawing from life on one hand or patterns on the other to marrying the 2 somewhat. Actually they give quite a different effect so I have mostly used them as extra lines.
Q: You work also in textiles and ceramics; how does embroidery differ artistically from drawing/painting for you? How do ceramics differ?
Rukshana: Machine embroidery, particularly, is like drawing with thread - given the reversal of a static point & moveable background. Even with hand embroidery I use only running, stem & chain stitches - and only on a flat background. Ceramics is quite different; the lines form the 3D shape, any on the surface are extra. And, of course, it’s what I would drop everything else for!
Q: In your textile gallery there is an image I like very much – 3rd row down, second in from the left – it has blues and peach colors in it. Can you talk about this piece?
Rukshana: It’s actually a detail of the felt wheel to the left but much more accurate in colour. It’s one I did for my MA but tinkered with afterwards. They were
done by felting 1/2 circles and then cutting each into 3 to combine in such a way that the result was more nearly circular. This left very irregular overlaps in the middle - & sometimes gaps. So they all have felt or silk centres sewn on to hide this!
This particular wheel I wanted to be pink &/or peach but the dyed fleece I had was an unpleasant garish shade. So first I backed it with a black wool to improve the depth & get the tiny black curls that seem to migrate thru’ the layers. I also put orange & yellow wool yarn on the surface. This was to edge it more towards peach & tie it more firmly colourwise to my planned centre, an early sample. When it was unwrapped after boil washing the awful pink wasn’t a bit toned down. I had to over-dye it with tea! The black backing showed on some edges producing the almost navy blue effect which you have noticed.
Years later I did hand embroidery in yellow/orange & red/pink/orange variegated thread, taking the stitching along diameters of the whole circle. I think it’s OK now.
Q: You have a blog post, April 7 (no title), where you bring up an issue that many artists struggle with: that of being recognized as a professional [whether with a studio, an in-house studio or working on the kitchen table]…you say, “…Because as an artist without a studio…I work from home, my time is not really valued….” Why do you think this is?
Rukshana: From what I hear from others, just working at home or freelancing in your own rented space is a problem, with the very strong assumption that there is a ‘real job’ [like a] 9-5 ( even when it’s 8-6!) in an office somewhere . Then there is the problem of being an artist - is that ever a ‘real job’? After all there is no regular pay (or hours) & many people do it for free - even pay the likes of us to teach them to do it better! I fear we visual artists aren’t regarded as necessary in the way that performers and writers are, however grudgingly, understood to be needed because there is a demand for recorded music & drama - not to say books of fiction.
If we unionized and called a strike who would be upset? Time was when any educated person would be familiar with art, music, theatre, literature both currently & historically.
*Let's find a soapbox for Rukshana! Indeed, if artists were to strike, who would notice?
Q: What do you want viewers to see in your art? What do you see in your art?
Rukshana: I’d like them to experience pleasure & see beauty (Ihsan) which is an Islamic value . I don’t know about any message or even conveying of a mood. What I see in it is an attempt at beauty or at least visual interest. Even my 3D work is essentially visual, not tactile.
Q: What are you long term goals for yourself as an artist?
Rukshana: Like most of us, I’d love to earn a living at it! More seriously, I want to return to ceramics & keep going as long as I can stand up . Also I think I’d like to work alongside other artists of a religious persuasion in shared studios.
Thank you, Rukshana, for sharing a look into your art and what it means to you.
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